It can be hard keeping sex fun when you’re trying to make a baby without success, so we’ve got some ideas to help you bring back the fun bit of sex – go on, you remember, it did used to be fun!
Recapture the fun
Yes the fundamental reason for having sex is to make babies, but there’s probably years between having sex for the first time and actually wanting to have a baby as a result of sex!
So the aim is to recapture the fun of making love, because the more relaxed you are, the more chance of making babies.
After months or years of trying to conceive, you’ll probably be using fertility charts to try and work out the best time to have sex. But it’s exactly this lack of spontaneity that can make sex become an issue and a chore for couples trying to conceive, rather than something to enjoy.
Try and stay positive. Our advice on the chances of conceiving is packed with statistics, so look here to see how likely to is that you will conceive this month:
The chances of getting pregnant in each cycle vary according to a wide range of factors, but perhaps the most important one is the woman’s age.
For a woman aged 20-25, the chances of conceiving are around 25 per cent for each cycle (that is a one in four chance)
For a woman aged 30-35, the chances are 15 per cent for each cycle
It will take a couple in their early twenties an average of five cycles to conceive
Women in their early thirties will get pregnant, on average, after nine cycles
One in ten couples will take more than a year to succeed in conceiving.
So if you’re 32 and you’ve been trying for six months, take comfort in the fact that the average woman your age takes nine cycles to conceive. So that gives you three months before you even reach average. So try to relax and think positively – 90 per cent of couples will conceive in the first year of trying.
Keeping it spontaneous
If you haven’t been given medical advice to have sex at a certain time, then try and stay spontaneous, having sex when you feel like it.
A woman can have sex with her husband two days before she was 'supposed to' – and finds herself pregnant! Because the pressure is off, the couple would have been more relaxed.
If possible, try and get away for a romantic weekend (or even midweek break) together. If you already have a child, a stay for the child at granny’s house will free you up from morning routines and give you and your partner a chance to lie in and try some morning sex for a change.
If you don’t have a child yet, then a romantic break away should put you in a happy, relaxed mood that might just mean you end up pregnant!